Sunday, January 30, 2005

Thought of the day

Good thing about working on campus:

All the pretty boys that I get to see on a daily basis.

Bad thing about working on campus:

All the pretty so-much-too-young-for me-it might-as-well-be-illegal boys I get to see on a daily basis.


Saturday, January 22, 2005

Oooo, my stomach hurts

I think I now understand more of what may go through vegetarians' heads on a regular basis. I had a "what the fuck is that?!" experience while flipping through channels this morning. I hit upon a Graham Kerr episode and paused for a brief moment. Suddenly, the camera focused on the frying pan in front of him. He was poking at what appeared to me to be a prop from out of an Aliens movie or something. Raw, flayed flesh was splayed in the skillet, as the tongs prodded the sides of this poor creature. My stomach roiled as I tried to figure out what the hell the show was featuring on its ingredients list; Alien-facehugger? Freshly peeled human tongue?

It turned out to be a chicken leg with the thigh meat still attached, but the thigh part was open to the camera, looking like a grotesque mouth or sucker or something like female genitalia (yes, we are all beautiful "down-there", but what is between our thighs just doesn't look right slapped in a skillet). Whatever it was, it didn't look like food. Or at least, it didn't look appetizing. Bleah. Vegetarians unite, I guess.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Must. Have. Now!

Squeee! Keychain plants!

Although since I keep my keys in my jeans pocket most of the time, I'd have to get used to letting them get some sun once in awhile. And watering them, likely. And being careful that the lid on the cactus didn't come off.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

The Rocky Horror whaaaa????

Today's source of the burning sensation in my nose from spewing out my yummy eggnog latte is brought to you by:

The Rocky Horror Muppet Show!

The visuals in my head are very entertaining.

MISS PIGGY (pulls Scooter nose to nose with her, vocce morte)
Brad, I am cold and I am wet and I am just plain scared.

SCOOTER (collapsing)
So am I.

(Music starts: "59th Street Bridge [Feelin' Groovy]." The door opens, and a very sheepish Kermit -- in black cape and fishnets -- steps right through it. Miss Piggy drops Scooter like a sack of potatoes; Annie Sue, careful to avoid Miss Piggy's gaze, moves to help Scooter up by the middle of the first verse.)

[Lyrics to Sweet Transvestite follow, sung to the tune of 59th St Bridge song (Feelin' groovy), because Animal has eaten all of the sheet music]. And it scans!