Why, oh why, do the underwear companies not make bikini underwear suitable for us larger folks? You may not have noticed, but any underwear larger than a size 6 is not available in a variety of styles. And why are the sizes so funky? Can women's clothing be more clearly sized, fer cryin' out loud?! What the hell does a single-digit number have to do with my hip size?! And why can't I buy underwear that only covers what I consider the "essential parts", which does not include my belly button? I don't like elastic around my waist, it irritates my skin. Hence, the desire for bikinis or, when I can find them, "hipsters", aka hip-hugger underwear. Sheesh. Yet another conspiracy against fat people. Hmpf.