Friday, January 27, 2006


The following is not by me, but by a co-worker. I thought it deserved a little online-immortality. Plus, I'm trying to encourage her to start a blog. Enjoy!

An entire package of bacon. One 30-minute span of time. One woman, not really hungry, but finding it impossible to ignore the call of the wild game in the refrigerator.

She cooks

and eats

3 pieces.

The bacon is talking!

"Eat me, eat me!"

"But I don't even really want you anymore! I know if I eat he rest of you, you'll just make me sick to my stomach!"

"No, baby! This time will be different! I've learned my lesson! C'mon back to me now!"

"No, I really am not hungry anymore. I'm going to put you back. And besides, I got distracted watching the cats and now you're kind of burnt."

"Naw, baby! You know what they say; the blacker the bacon, the sweeter the juice!"

"Well.....ok...but just this last time! I can't keep sneaking around behind my husband's back and eating you like this! I don't know if he noticed you in here the other day, but if he did and he comes home this morning for a piece of you, I am a dead woman!!"

[proceeds to cook and eat entire package]

[bacon proceeds to do like he always does--float around on a little raft on the grease river sipping his jack and coke and thinkin' about which woman's life he can destroy next]

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